Saturday, March 31, 2018

My name is Sally. I am Genderfluid. I am Trans. (#TransDayOfVisibility #TDoV #TDoV2018)

My name is Sally. 

I am Genderfluid. 

I am Trans.


Three tiny little statements, just ten words, but there is so much weight behind them - and they feel so much lighter when they are shared.

Most of you either know me through my book reviews or my fiction but, generally, I do not talk a lot about myself here. I tend to be rather private. I am shy, I am introverted, and I have some social anxieties that can be pretty extreme on occasion. For me, books for make a nice, safe barrier. They can be a fence, a window, or a door, depending on who is on the other side.

Today, however, is the day we unlatch the fence gates, open the windows, and unlock the doors. 

Today is all about visibility.

Why is visibility important? If you read through the #TransDayOfVisibility topics on Facebook or Twitter, you will find all sorts of facts and statistics. They are important but, for me, visibility comes down to one thing - not feeling alone.

I grew up feeling very alone with my gender issues. I had no idea what I was feeling or why, and had no exposure to the kind of positive role models that are out there today. I grew up in a vacuum, and the few times I tried to start a discussion, it did not end well. In fact, it was one of those conversations that transformed my insecurities into a spiral of self-disgust and shame, locking me deep in the closet, and leaving me sad, angry, and alone for a very long time.

What changed? I found a woman who understands me, accepts me, and supports me. My wife is the most amazing woman in the world, and I would not be here today were it not for her. She has given me the courage to be happy, and has encouraged me to reach out, make friends in the community, and take comfort in the fact that I am not alone.

Visibility works both ways, and it can be incredibly empowering. I have a wealth of trans friends online and in real life, all of whom I love dearly. Those friendships have made my life better, contributing to my health and my happiness, but it is the occasions where I have been able to make a friend's life better than I treasure the most. In being visible, we make it easier to create a sense of community, easier to find one another, and easier to share life's joys and pleasures.

My name is Sally. 

I am Genderfluid. 

I am Trans.

   




6 comments:

  1. oh hi, Sally.... so nice to meet you

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  2. Hi Sally! I think I've met you before though. I am glad to know that when your gender fluid is a bit low, you come online and visit the rest of us and drink of our essence .. or something like that.

    I am so glad when I hear that some of my TG online friends do have happy real life stories too. Another person that is out of the closet leaves much more room inside, and as anyone that that is interested in our niche of the Interwebs knows, "you can NEVER have enough room in your closet!"

    And I can only imagine how many people that have read this post are envious of you, not just because of your situation, but how well those boots in the first picture fit you. I mean, I definitely don't have the calves for those!

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    Replies
    1. LOL - I love the gender fluid top-up!

      And thanks for the kind words. The first thing my wife said when we began the gender discussion was "Well, you certainly have the legs for it." :(

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  3. You look lovely in every picture.

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