TG Captions are one of my favorite forms of storytelling. There is no narrative fluff, no extraneous details, just the hook, the twist, and the climax.
A little something different this week. In crafting this week's caption, I found myself torn as to how it should end. Not because I couldn't figure out the ending, but because I couldn't settle on just one ending! As such, I present to you my three favorite endings - please let me know which is your favorite!
Me? I'm kinda partial to the first one. :)
The first is a start, but the last is indeed the last word for his new place in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteKind of hard to deny his new place after all that, isn't i? :)
DeleteThe last one seems to flow the best. It also seems to be the most straightforward and logical from start to end. I mean, they are mostly trying to fix his issues so that she can have more pleasure than he can give her. The doctor did that, plus went that extra mile!
ReplyDeleteMy favorites will always be hypnosis & mind control, so version one is definitely the one I'd probably like to receive in a trade .. though maybe with the last line being, "Unlike me!"
Good point on the cuckolding one. In my mind, the doctor always had an ulterior motive, the twist was in how the wife reacted. I agree, that one does seem the most natural, but hardly the most fun. :)
DeleteI kind of like the first one best....maybe cecause the last one strikes a little too close to reality for me....but I really like the idea of the husband transformed and the wife hypnotized to like it!!!!
ReplyDeleteI kind of like the idea that they're both transformed...
Just my two cents....
Liked the idea that you didn't scrub the drafts....I save some drafts....sometimes for years.....and I play with them trying to get them to work and sometimes they eventually do....but I have more than a few things in my drafts folders that I just haven't been able to use but I'm not willing to give up on!!!!
Anyway.....I really enjoyed it!!!!
Kisses
Kaaren
I usually just go with whatever one flows best, even if it's not the ending I wanted . . . but sometimes the muse demands you satisfy all her desires!
DeleteI'd personally place endings as: 1st place: 3, 2nd place: 2, 3rd: 1.
ReplyDeleteActually, I absolutely didn't like the ending #1, because it looks unrealistic. If this sounds odd given I love your "magic" captions with dolls and mannequins, then note that any story should respect constraints of the world it happens in, and this ending doesn't.
First of, hypnosis doesn't work like this, i.e. immediately, it requires lots of work, and there's no hint that happened. Second: what's the point for the doctor? Are they a psychopath, or what? Such cardinal change 99% may lead to consequences, so there should be quite a big motivation, but the caption has none.
Fair points, hon. In my mind, she was already hypnotized long before her husband and that *snap* was just the trigger for her to drop back into her hypnotized state and remember she'd been where her husband was.
DeleteAs for motivation and consequences, you are absolutely right in that I totally glossed over those in pursuit of the twist. I think I might play with a few multi-panel captions in the coming weeks to give me more story space.